Dear Santa,
It's been a long time since I've written to you, I know. I apologize for not keeping in touch. You see, I grew up and sort of forgot about you.
Oh sure, I heard about you every year, but I thought I was too grown up to ever ask you for anything ever again.
Then I remembered what I tell my children each Christmas: "You gotta believe to receive."
Santa, I believe.
There are a few things that I'd like to ask you for this year, Santa. Here goes....
I want a governor for Christmas. I know that's a lot to ask, Santa, and it's not something you might ordinarily see on a Christmas wish list, but there it is. A governor for our beautiful Evergreen State. I'm sure you can swing it, Santa. I believe in you!
Also, even though we don't have palm trees or hurricanes, I fear we've become the new Florida, and therefore the Election Recount Capital of our nation.
It was kind of funny when it was some other state, but now it's my state and I'm not finding it nearly as amusing. At least we're not seeing video clips of people holding ballots up to the light in search of hanging chads, but still. It's embarrassing when they keep reporting that they've suddenly "found" another hundred or so ballots that somehow had been misplaced.
Santa, I misplace my car keys. I misplace my reading glasses and sometimes even my purse - but ballots? How does that happen?
Santa, if you could also bring us a new voting system that's better than the one we've got now, I'd be so happy.
Did you see the number of zeros on the check that the Democrats handed in to start their second recount? All I could think was... "Wow, just imagine how far that would go for a homeless shelter, or a food bank, or in a clinic for those of us without health insurance right now."
But that's not what I'm writing about, Santa. Sorry, I got sidetracked a bit.
I know that right now we have a governor-elect, and that's great, but unless the other side concedes the election, then we really can't move on and start the process of putting things together for the next few years. There won't be that "healing" everyone keeps talking about. We need a governor in place in order for our state to move forward.
I'd also like to everyone to stop telling everyone else that they are idiots for the way they voted in the Presidential election this year. It's rude to keep calling people in the red states drooling, inbred, right-wing whackos, and it's equally rude to call the blue-state folks soulless, godless, baby-killing liberal idiots.
So, if you could please just put a little something in everyone's stocking this year that would calm them down and bring them back together, that would be great. Maybe some stock options for Microsoft?
Santa, I don't know if you've ever had to take the Alaskan Way Viaduct when you've been dropping off gifts up here. Have you seen how it is? It's getting kind of old and rickety, not unlike some of us, and we need a new one. Thanks.
I've been extra good this year, Santa, so I'd like to ask for another little gift from your endless bag of goodies. For all the "Bah Humbug" crowd of thugs that keep stealing other people's holiday decorations, would you please drop a really ugly lump of coal on them? Er, I mean, in their stockings? Thanks.
That's all for now, Santa. Thanks! And please don't forget the governor for our state. Oh, and one tiny thing. John Kerry had about $15 million left over from his failed presidential bid. Would you please make sure he doesn't throw the rest of that money at our state to keep the recounts going? Thanks, Big Guy!
Write Pamela at rtjameson@nwlink.com.[[In-content Ad]]
