Everything I needed to know about Global Conflict I learned from my teenager.
There are two ways this works.
One entity - say Iraq - believing itself more powerful and therefore more worthy, sees something belonging to someone else that they want to own. Be it land, oil, eye shadow or that really cool boombox that Mom won in a writing contest. Because they, Iraq, perceive themselves to be more powerful than the governing body that has ownership of what they desire - for example, Kuwait - they decide to simply take what is not rightfully theirs. After appropriating by stealth what was not theirs to appropriate in the first place, they claim ownership by maintaining that they could make better use of it and said resource was not being used anyway and besides, they need it more.
This also explains the highly charged conflict between rival hip-hop pants-to-their-knees-wearin', gangsta-rappin' moguls. We're not certain what turf they are taking from each other, and quite frankly we don't care. We have bigger fish to fry: in the matter of missing makeup and CD players.
All I wanted to do was listen to a CD while I prepared dinner. A quick check of my kitchen counters revealed that my lovely blue CD player was absent. Gone. Missing. As it turns out, stolen by one of the very humans I'd given birth to 16 years ago.
Oddly enough, 16 years ago I was not informed that the tiny squalling infant they placed into my arms would grow up to teach me about Global Conflict and thievery on a scale so immense that I'd be left music-less, makeup-less and wearing elastic-waistbanded pants for the remainder of my days upon this planet Earth. She stole my waistline, but has never admitted her guilt in this crime. Charges are still pending.
Me: "Hey! Where's my CD player?"
Teenage Mutant Thief: "Oh, you weren't using it, so I took it."
Me: "You what?"
TMT: "I needed it."
Me: "Of course you did. Now bring it back."
TMT: "But Mooooooooooom! I NEED IT!"
Me: "No, you wanted it. It was not necessary to maintain life, so therefore it was a want and not a need. You took it without my permission, and that is called stealing. Now bring it back."
TMT: "But I don't have one!"
And therein lie most of the global problems of our day. The haves and the have-nots.
In her eyes, I am one of the haves. I have makeup, I have a CD player, I have a driver's license and a vehicle. I also have bills, but for some reason she's not trying to steal those away from me. I'd not put up much of a fight should she try.
Perhaps that would work better if I somehow managed to disguise them as makeup.
It's much like the governorship here in Washington state. Rossi had it, albeit briefly, before Gregoire took it from him. Rossi should add my Teenage Mutant Thief to his staff. He'd probably still be in office.
There are moves and countermoves in this dance of ownership.
The trick is to use diplomacy as far as you can take it, then you counterstrike with overwhelming force when they least expect it of you.
I walked out to the garage, unplugged my CD player and brought it back into my kitchen when she wasn't looking. It was mine, all mine!
The next morning it was gone again. This time it was my 6-year-old who had stolen it from me. Another aspect of Global Conflict that I've learned the hard way is that the elders teach their young how to take from the haves.
I am going to go out and buy myself a new CD player and chain it to my kitchen counter. I'll do that as soon as I find out where my makeup was taken.
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