AGING WITH CARE | Transform outlook for aging family members

The new year is here! Let’s look ahead by creating a unique New Year’s gift for your favorite elder.

Caring for our elders can be challenging. The challenge can be so great that we sometimes forget that our elders face the greater challenges. Aging can be troublesome, often bringing on problems like isolation, failing memory and decreased mobility. For elders of advancing years, dependency can diminish self-esteem.

As caregivers and family members we need to do whatever we can to lessen the unwelcome impacts of aging.

I am going to suggest a task that will result in ongoing engagement with your elder. I want you to create a tool that will help alleviate your elder’s guilt about failing memory.

Get a flip calendar that has a page for each month and empty squares for the days.

Starting with New Year’s Day, fill in the squares. Throughout 2015, use colorful images to designate special dates. For New Year’s Day, use footballs or confetti. Hearts for Valentine’s Day. Bunnies for Easter. The Star of David for Passover. An American flag for Memorial Day. Fireworks for the Fourth of July. Hydroplanes for Seafair. Pumpkins for Halloween. You get the idea.

Then personalize the calendar. Mark birthdates. Write family members’ names on the appropriate dates, and attach photos, especially photos of the grandkids and great-grandkids.

Make a date

Next, I want to challenge you. Add eight or 10 special dates throughout the year that are not the traditional family get-togethers, days you promise to spend with your elder. Think in terms of things they would enjoy doing.

For the start of spring, a picture of rhododendrons will mark the day you take your elder for a drive to enjoy spring colors. If appropriate, mark Mother’s and/or Father’s Day.

Near the start of summer, glue a picture of a lion or a boat; make this the day you visit the Ballard Locks or the Woodland Park Zoo. Put a music clef on the date of your elder’s favorite musical performance that is scheduled for the Paramount or 5th Avenue theaters and then purchase tickets.

When you hand over the calendar, you will give your senior three very important things. First: an opportunity and reason to look forward and anticipate a series of special dates and outings. You will alleviate your aging person’s feeling of isolation and the depression that results from being alone. Second: a visual aid by which to remember special family moments and holidays. Third: the gift of your time.

When you present your distinctive calendar, walk your elder through the entire year. Explain the significance of each picture and date. Ask them if there is anything they’d like to add.

By being intentional, you can make a huge difference in the outlook of an aging person.

Reminders

A couple of additional thoughts: Make a copy of the calendar for yourself. It doesn’t need to be as colorful or as elaborate as the one you give them, but you do not want to forget any of the special dates and commitments.

I also suggest mailing timely notecards and reminders for the special dates, especially for the days when you might not be with them, like Valentine’s Day or Halloween. These cards and notes put smiles on the faces of elders.

MARLA BECK is the founder and president of Andelcare Inc., which provides in-home eldercare. Submit questions by calling (206) 838-1844 or via e-mail to marla@andelcare.com.