REVISITING THE PARK | Jobs swinging the way of the pendulum

Between jobs, I bartended at the Red Onion Tavern and The Attic in the ‘70s, which were popular options in Madison Park for the after-work bunch. The various groups always brightened the day with humor and laughter. 

Common question: “How’s the job?” A guy who usually was very quiet exclaimed one day, “Computers took my job!”

After a brief silence, someone retorted, “Take computer classes!” to which the unhappy patron replied, “Can’t, the entire financial department has gone to corporate via computer!” 

In this case, this poor soul was lost at sea and the adage that computers would create jobs was not true for him, as he was in his late 40s and not techno-minded. Maybe fast-food? 

Another guy said, “I’m manager of my section, and one day, the computer arrives, and this way-too-young-to-grow-a-whisker dude right out of college with a degree in computer sciences sits down and takes my job!” 

To top that, an auto body-repair guy (a real Rembrandt of body fender repair) stood up so everyone could hear, “A lady comes in in need of a front fender, door, rear quarter panel and bumper as if she had just come in 19th at a demolition derby! It was the second time in a few months she’d been in. It was going to be around four to five weeks’ work. While I did the estimate, the new-hire computer person hands me a sheet of paper — it was an estimate of new replacement parts, color matched to the model of the car, with a bottom line: five hours labor!” 

Robotics would now do the work of several men and made the trade obsolete. Not being union, the fight was his alone with management. Thereafter, the term “curbstone mechanic” was invented out of necessity. The curbstone worker could work from his own garage, saving money on overhead, and word-of-mouth kept him busy. 

The well-dressed sales rep, working with major chain clothing stores, dealt in volume and earned commission. He suddenly found his job turning into a “drop shipment.” The computer analyzed inventory and filled all the proper amounts. It increased profit for the companies but eliminated the salesperson’s commission altogether, leaving a pittance of a salary.

Learning a new trade

Three neighborhood friends and I carpooled to Renton, where we worked as illustrators, draftsmen and writers. Being we were all single, we would hear the phrase, “A contract has to go out — you’ll work tonight and weekends!” 

From time to time, we’d see new people on computers, but we weren’t too worried about it. Management said the company had to be competitive and needed to make the transition to exist in the marketplace. 

All the illustrations made months before were now “presets” on computer programs. All information acquired on isometric drawing, calculations and bar charts were now done with one to three keystrokes. Computers with a preset view of a given illustration just added some dimensions and, voila, a finished drawing!

I worked with an architect whose hand-lettering was perfect, and I asked him if he would try to learn AutoCAD. He answered, “After being in the field 28 years, I am considering retirement — not learning a damn computer!”

During the slow periods, we single types were laid off to defer to those with families. The computer eventually put 120 of us out of work, as we were replaced by three to four workstations, none of which was an artist. 

Even newer technology

Weeks after that, we ran into each other on interviews or the unemployment line at Seventh and Dexter avenues and tried to muster up a laugh about the whole thing, but we agreed that creating something by hand was truly an art form. 

We commiserated about how much money the company had spent previously on sending us to night school to learn the rigid drafting commands in regard to the missile sight. 

In spite of this serious conversation, someone would always say for a morale boost, “I’m buying a round!” We met back at the Park and drank our 25-cent schooners, trying to find humor in spite of it all. 

I said with a wink, “What if three guys who worked at Hanger 51 created something called ‘Sphere’ and introduced it to the CEO of a large firm. They bring Sphere to the company, unplug the existing computer system and set Sphere (about the size of a baseball) in its place?” Someone remarks, “That is just way too small to work.”

Hanger 51, known for its crashed UFO and exciting but secret data, started reverse engineering. In lightning-fast response totals, adjustments to correct existing errors all flash on a bright screen and, within minutes, shows stock profit had increased by 72 percent!

The company signs 51 percent to Sphere. Microsoft, Apple and all computer companies would now be a thing of the past. 

Soon, companies worldwide will sign over their 51 percent, and everyone must follow suit to continue to exist. The CEOs retire with a guaranteed lifelong income. Sphere opens multiple branches of unemployment halls nationwide, but only the service industry is left, and being extra-generous, it gives a small portion of profits to the unemployable. 

Sphere needs only the original three for Hanger 51 to run and no other human input.

The pendulum swings the other way at last!

The really good thing about this story is that the middle class grows much larger, and we (raise your glasses), the middle class, are most assuredly a happy, idealistic and appreciative group!

RICHARD CARL LEHMAN is a longtime Madison Park resident. To comment on this column, write to MPTimes@nwlink.com.