LEST WE FORGET | The 3 Stooges, the witch and her wardrobe

Gov. Christine Gregoire: "Thank you for coming. Our state is in trouble. We must find solutions, but we can't raise taxes. I promised the voters that wouldn't happen under my leadership. It helped me defeat that pesky Dino Rossi."

Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels: "People genuinely like the guy; it was close."

Gregoire: "Too close. I need to usher in change. Let's talk change in Seattle."

Nickels: "Make Seattle the music capitol of the world!"

Gregoire: "You had grunge. Change, Greg, not more of the same. What else?"

Nickels: "Take dumpsters out of alleyways and put them inside the buildings."

Gregoire: "I'll tell you what, you think about it a bit more and I'll come back. Ron, can you pay attention to the group and not your Blackberry?"

King County Executive Ron Sims: "Checking Twitter; there's a train a-comin' Chris - just get on board."

Gregoire: "Maria, What's the word on Seattle schools?"

Seattle Public Schools Superintendent Maria Goodloe-Johnson: "We're moving ahead with the plan to close schools."

Gregoire: "Wait, that's not change. Didn't your predecessor close schools? I don't recall that going well for him."

Goodloe-Johnson: "Can you revise Washington state's public-education funding and give us more money? That's change our families can believe in."

Gregoire: "Don't get carried away. Besides, I endorsed Barack Obama."

Goodloe-Johnson: "What does that matter?!"

Gregoire: "'Yes, we can.'"

Nickels: "Governor, quoting Obama and shamelessly advertising your endorsement will not make people like you."

Gregoire: "Ron? Ron, pay attention!"

Sims: "I'm checking my friends' status on Facebook."

Gregoire: "This is getting out of control, seriously. King County is facing a massive crisis, and you're networking?!"

Sims: "You're just jealous because I have more Facebook friends than you."

Gregoire: "I'm not even on Facebook!"

Sims: "And that saddens me. As for King County, we need new revenue, too. Give us the tools to save lives Chris - it's the most vulnerable at stake here."

Gregoire: "Forget it. Greg, a tent city named Nickelsville? It's embarrassing. You must have thought of solutions?"

Nickels: "My hope is that by adhering to the guidelines of the Kyoto Agreement, we will make the environment more conducive to the homeless in Seattle. It's all about job creation and rebuilding our economy."

Gregoire: "I'm just curious...what news publications do you read to stay informed?"

Nickels: "All of 'em, any of 'em. You know, whatever I can get my hands on. You betcha!"

Gregoire: "Ron, I'm starting to lose my patience."

Sims: "This is so cool. It takes pictures and uploads them to Flickr. Now everyone can see pictures of us. You might want to smile, Chris - it's the Internet."

Nickels: "I want one! Does it come in green?"

Gregoire: "Maria, the district allows South Seattle families to send their children to school in the North End? Aren't North Seattle schools overcrowded while south Seattle schools are under-enrolled?"

Goodloe-Johnson: "Yes, but South End schools suck."

Gregoire: "What are you going to do to improve the conditions of schools in South Seattle?"

Goodloe-Johnson: "I don't understand the question."

Gregoire: "Whatever happened to honoring diversity, tackling the achievement gap and institutionalized racism?"

Goodloe-Johnson: "Closing more schools in the South End will help eliminate diversity, thereby eliminating the achievement gap and institutionalized racism. Those families can move to Renton. It's a win-win situation."

Gregoire: "Greg, is it true you tried to cut funding for community advocates?"

Nickels: "Absolutely."

Gregoire: "But community advocates are community organizers. Obama was a community organizer. What gives?"

Nickels: "Community organizers see Seattle differently than the rest of us, and they pal around with unrepentant domestic terrorists."

Gregoire: "By "terrorists," you're referring to...?"

Nickels: "The feed-the-hungry, shelter-the-homeless, affordable-healthcare-for-all socialists."

Gregoire: "I need us to focus on change, remember? Now Greg, what about the homeless?"

Nickels: "We'll use the parks levy to do some upgrades on the outdoor accommodations."

Gregoire: "Why not lease a few empty buildings from Maria?"

Goodloe-Johnson: "Absolutely not! That's all prime real estate. Where do you think they're going to put all the overpriced condos?

Gregoire: "Point taken. What about the violence in the South End?"

Nickels: "I like Maria's idea: Deplete their resources, and keep the cost of living high. They'll move and take the violence to Renton. Now that's what I call a solid neighborhood plan."

Gregoire: "Oh, for Pete's sake! Maria, get back in your seat. And Ron, turn that darn laptop off this instant!"

Sims: "Sorry, Chris. Maria asked me to pull up the Nordstrom catalog; we just found the cutest pair of pumps."

Gregoire: "We're running out of time. Maria, didn't I read a report that said the district could save money by trimming the fat in management?"

Goodloe-Johnson: "It's taken care of. We signed all district employees up at 24-hour Fitness."

Gregoire: "How do you intend to involve families and students in the new student-assignment plan?"

Goodloe-Johnson: "We've scheduled that for May 29 to the 31st."

Gregoire: "But that's Memorial Day weekend; everyone is on vacation then."

Goodloe-Johnson: "Pity."

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