WHAT'S ON THE AGE-ENDA | Ignorance can be bliss

I dashed into Bert’s Red Apple earlier this week to get a few vital items that I had to have that very instant. I quickly gathered the items and headed for the checkout line.

On the way, a stack of canned tomatoes on a special sale caught my eye — how could I resist? I added it to my basket for the “emergency-only” shelf and headed once again for the checkout line.

As I waited my turn, panic set in. I had a horrifying realization: I had forgotten my book to read while I was in line. I certainly wasn’t going to go home to get it. There wasn’t a magazine rack at the check stand; I was abandoned.

At that moment, I happened to look over at my basket. “That’s it,” I said to myself. “I can always read the labels on the canned goods.”

Those little words…
I reached for the tomato can — lovely. On a green background was a perfect red tomato: a visible work of art.

Then I made the mistake of looking at the back of the can. Horrors! It was practically covered with little words that were totally unfamiliar to me.

I tried to sound them out, but they didn’t sound out at all.

I finally figured out that the tomatoes had been captured by mysterious ingredients and were changed from little, everyday vegetables to redder, juicier, healthier tomatoes than any other tomatoes I could possibly select.

What could I do but buy such gems for my family?

…that symbolize nothing
I decided to pursue this subject further so I stepped out of the checkout line and went over the soup section to check out the soups.

I found a carton of Hormel’s Intense Chicken Broth, which I actually managed to reach, and I read it once and then I read it again and again.

Hormel’s Intense Chicken Broth has no chicken in it at all. I presume the long list of odds and ends takes the place of the chicken legs and thighs, but given my druthers, I think I’d rather have the chicken.

I am totally confused. How do I get that magic-potion, minimum daily requirement? Or rather, how can I enjoy getting my daily requirement by swallowing a cupful of pretty pills instead of meat and vegetables?

ROBERTA COLE writes about seniors’ issues.[[In-content Ad]]